There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize