I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
