i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Actions speak louder than pants.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
