I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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