Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
