I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
