I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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