In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
