why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
