when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
