Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I won't apologize to a one balled man
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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