At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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