he thought i was a dude.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
