Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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