i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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