I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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