pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
