Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
whose parrot is this?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
