this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
