Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
