He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
home. puking in laundry basket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
