hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
