Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
