Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
