I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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