Small penises have feelings too.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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