All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this will be a night to untag.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
