i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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