drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
