Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
