My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
