I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
