I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
