Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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