Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Panties = found
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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