Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
