wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
