Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
