I look better un-naked...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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