If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sober January is a disaster.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
