i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
