what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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