I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
