grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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