I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize