all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
