i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
