I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
