i permit you to call me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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