NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
