So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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