I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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