cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
