i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
