a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
