barbara walters just said penis...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
