okay pat passed out under dana's car
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
