Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
