just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
